The Funeral

We're only liars It's only blood
They're only thoughts that
I'm having thoughts safe within my head
You're only crying
You're only dying
We're only dead

Odezsa - It’s Only

There's no easy way to say goodbye to a friend, especially when they've been with you through the ups and the downs. Following along and gazing at your life from a consistent vantage point. Allowing those around you to know where you’ve been and what you’re likely to be doing at 2pm on a Sunday.

My Facebook profile has been a solid ally in combatting this modern life. Helping to keep me updated on the latest happenings between my close digital friends.

Or people that I had a chance meeting with at 3am in some underground Bulgarian nightclub.

Yet, in this age of everything being at our own beck and call, there is power in saying no. In saying the proverbial 'not today satan' and pushing past the urgent to the acts of actual importance.

So it is my intention to shutdown my Facebook profile on the 15th of October.

This is not meant to be a wider commentary on the state of Facebook as an offering. There are plenty of that happening - here, here and here.

Due to the nature of the beast, each of their products is powerful. You only have to read Nir Eyal’s ‘Hooked’. To understand the deep psychological underpinning that exists at each layer.

As they invest more in the advances of artificial intelligence and machine learning. The offers are bound to be more fantastical in years to come. Yet, with these advancements an undertone has coagulated. That echoes the very famous adage ‘ if you’re not paying for it, you’re the product’.

Privary could be my main focus. But, my rational is more focussed on trying to use products and services that hold my being. A layer of self awareness, if you will. As my heart has never been the most invested in Facebook. My meagre 263 digital friends (to date) is a distinct showcase of this. It has instead been a layer of noise that comes with trying to fit in with the social sea of society of our present day.

As Meryl Streep phrased

'I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant. But simply, because I’ve reached a point in my life. Where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases or hurts me.’

This reference was aimed at people. Yet, the same sentiment applies to inflexible service Facebook has cultivated.

So with the best of intentions. The myriad of Facebook services (Instagram, WhatsApp, Occulus) requires a good send off. In comparison to the click of a button that we often mark the closure of an personal account.

To signify a loss whose significance, most wouldn’t recognise until they tried to tag me in the future. So we can move past the strange new stillness — a foreign silence. As the machine that has been humming in the background gets switched off.

My unfurling plan is to hold a fitting farewell IRL in Melbourne, Australia (it’ll be live streamed of course). 'A Facebook Funeral’ if you will inside of a church or a cemetery. There will be a coffin, eulogies and even a choir.

This is not to say the Facebook Funeral is a new concept. It is instead the best way for me to celebrate my digital persona and air my own deep quandaries about the service.

Lining up with LCD Soundsystem's front man James Murphy thoughts on complaining -

'Since, no one listens to you if you voice your reservations.

They say they do, but they really don’t. They’re just waiting for you to be quiet.

Yet no one, can disagree with that which is before their own eyes.

If you want to complain, get to making or doing something.

Don’t speak.'

Sometimes yours,
Sammy Haywood

P.S Not ready to jump off the cliff? There are coping mechanisms - particularly for Facebook. The newsfeed eradicator plugins work a treat (hat tip to Tobias) -

Photo Cred: Matthew Henry

Sammy Haywood

This blog is mostly written by me - Sammy Haywood (a part time human and full time explorer) for a new breed of human. So, I made this piece of the internet. #yolo and all.

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